Chuck Norris' Knock Out

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4. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. - When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

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5. The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. - Chuck Norris found out who Keyser Sose was, just by looking at the video cover.

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6. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch a 60 minute-show. - Back in the '50s, there was a lot of controversy because Chuck Norris was the first black woman to refuse to sit at the back of the bus. He roundhouse kicked every white person in sight, and now he sits wherever the fuck he wants to.

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7. Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting, hunting implies the chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. - When you see Chuck Norris, he sees you. When you don't see Chuck Norris you're just seconds away from death.

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