The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon plot
"IT WILL KILL YOU. EVEN IF IT TAKES THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."
Unlike most murders that usually last seconds or even hours, this premeditated, extremely cold-blooded and utterly brutal murder lasts for years. To be more specific, it started off as an annoyance, but soon after, it turned into a genuinely terrible and inescapable threat, forcing the hapless forensic pathologist Jack Cucchiaio to run for his life. The threat: a wild ubiquitous entity that never sleeps, never forgets, and most importantly, never forgives. The weapon: an exceptionally ineffective old-fashioned spoon. Survival: None.