Chuck Norris' Knock Out

1. Chuck Norris make onions cry. - When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits. - When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

3. Chuck Norris found out who Keyser Sose was, just by looking at the video cover. - It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch a 60 minute-show.

4. Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting, hunting implies the chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. - Chuck Norris once beat a Royal Flush in a poker game.

5. Chuck Norris has killed more men than death. - There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

6. Chuck Norris once met a man who cried because he had no shoes after which he ripped the man's feet off and said, "Now you don't need shoes." - Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won.

7. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear. - Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

8. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. - When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

9. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. - In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. He was running from Chuck Norris.

10. Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken. - There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

11. Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography. - The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

12. When Chuck Norris looks into a broken mirror, the mirror fixes itself out of respect. - Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris swam through land.

13. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes. - There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

14. At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris. - The devil once sold his soul to Chuck Norris.

15. When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back. - Chuck Norris was supposed to be the next face on Mt. Rushmore. Unfortunately the granite is not a hard enough materiel to replicate Chuck Norris' beard.

16. Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move. - If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

17. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris. - In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

18. Chuck Norris doesn't need to use toilet paper because shit is too scared to stick to his ass. - Chuck Norris will grant you a wish, if your wish is death.

19. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long. – Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

20. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

21. Adolf Hitler didn't commit suicide. Chuck Norris just got bored of WWII. - When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

22. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. But never his own. - Chuck Norris calendar goes from March 31 to April 2. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.

23. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." - Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

24. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man from his blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

25. When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. - Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris.

26. Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and shits gun powder. Then he uses that gun powder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life". - When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

27. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. - Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

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Vervolg Chuck Norris Knocks Out:

4e Ronde: 10 punten, 2 verschil;

5e Ronde: 12 punten, 2 verschil;

Kwartfinales: 13 punten, 2 verschil;

Halve Finales: 14 punten, 2 verschil;

Troostfinale: 15 punten, 2 verschil;

Finale: 15 punten, 2 verschil.

(afbeelding)

”It’s on!”