Ik en Mijn Ouders, Mijn Ouders en Ik (2004)
Genre: Documentary
Duration: 75 minuten
Country:
Netherlands
Directed by: Gerrit van Elst
Stars: Gerrit van Elst, Gerritje Petronella van Elst-Slijkhuis, Dirk van Elst
IMDb score:
8,1 (10)
This movie is not available on US streaming services.
Reviews & comments
korenbloem02
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- 708 messages
- 1781 votes
I watched My Parents and Me first. This was a very heartfelt documentary. A son who is in conflict with himself, on the one hand experiences the pressure of his parents' wishes and on the other hand wants to go his own way, breaking away from his parents. Make your own choices. The documentary paints a very sharp picture of the times of the 1970s. How both generations try to understand each other. (Mother tries to understand her son that he wants to break away from his parents. Only she says we have never done that either).
But what I liked most was: How special "ordinary" people are, the ordinary family life. I think a good example is how father and mother live together: with the radios in the kitchen.
Me and My Parents, literally builds on My Parents and Me.
Gerrit takes care of his parents, but also shows the aspects of growing older. I found this part mainly honest and moving. Just seeing the older person. A son who, together with his parents, looks back on their lives, but also on his life. The questions that all children will get... What do my parents want? Who am I making these decisions for, for myself, for them? Mother who gives very double messages: not wanting to eat, "it's not necessary for me", to which Gerrit himself asks if she wants to die." But how difficult is it for an older person to admit that you would rather not live anymore, against your own son. This tension returned regularly. The caregiver noticed this very sharply!
In many things you see that Gerrit wants appreciation from his parents. The relationship between father and mother was beautiful, because everyone wants to grow old together.
Personally, I liked My Parents and Me better, maybe it has to do with the fact that I am more in that age myself.
All in all a big 4*
Translated from Dutch · View original
Spetie
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- 38871 messages
- 8251 votes
The first thing that comes to my mind after seeing this documentary is admiration for the way in which this documentary was made. The situation the protagonists find themselves in is not exactly the easiest. Gerrit's parents are both very old and in need of help and his mother in particular is not always the easiest person to get along with due to her (partial) dementia. However, Gerrit is incredibly calm and seems to have endless patience for all the worries and problems his parents have. Gerrit has also chosen a profession that his mother in particular still disapproves of after all these years. When he asks her again after all these years, her opinion about it is still very strong and clear. It's very clever how Gerit deals with that, because something like that seems far from easy to me. He always remains positive and even makes a joke every now and then. His father has a different attitude and thinks it's all fine. From the images from the past you can also see that he was more of a bon vivant.
The images are of course lifelike and since the role of the main characters is also that, this ensured that the film grabbed me somewhat by the throat. I don't think you can avoid the fact that you also have to think about your own parents in such a situation.
Afterwards I also saw the old documentary, which is quite strange, because you see the old people younger and more vital again and you actually get an even better picture of how they lived their lives.
An impressive documentary, it must be said.
4.0*
Translated from Dutch · View original
Fisico
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- 10039 messages
- 5398 votes
Very engaging and honest portrait by filmmaker Gerrit van Elst of his parents. I did not see the 1975 documentary, but it is interwoven with it 29 years later in this documentary. It shows what happened then - namely Gerrit who goes his own way and moves to Amsterdam - still has an influence on the present.
The mother suffers from dementia and mentioned this a few more times. It has already shaped Gerrit into who he is today. Guilt may be a strong word, but it still played a role in their relationship to this day. In that respect the old documentary is very relevant. The installation between the two is very well done.
Respect and dignity are central here and the care needs of his parents in daily life are well highlighted. No clinical approach to the facts, but a sincere display of emotions. Life and death, it is not a taboo that is not talked about. I am quite sensitive to the elderly, especially when terrible diseases such as dementia surface. However, this documentary handles this very well. Well done!
Translated from Dutch · View original
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